My cat’s favorite time to cuddle is while I’m in the bathroom.

That right there? That headline? That was the opening line to a conversation I had today. Unfortunately for the people I talk to, I have a ton of these.
 
“I’ve been attacked by a shark.”
“My mom almost married me off to be the fourth wife of some dude from Ghana.”
“My mom volunteered me to be in a plane crash.”
 
(Yes, these are all true stories, you also may notice a pattern. Thanks, Mom.)
 
But you’ll notice, they’re all interesting. They make you want to hear the story that goes along with them.
 
A good headline should work the same way. You need to entice people without giving away too much of the good stuff. You still want them to read your story, open your e-mail or listen to your talk.
 
In public relations, the ability to have a good headline or opener is imperative. When I write an article, I want my headline to capture the reader’s attention. When I write an e-mail, my subject line ensures that it is opened. When I give a talk, my opening sentence ensures that the audience will stay engaged.
 
So let’s dissect what is so great about these and why they are effective.
 
They ring of confidence. There is no questioning, no meekness. They are statements and they are sure of themselves. Even if you are asking a question, it is a question you already know the answer to.
 
You understand what they mean. Even if you don’t yet know the details of the story, the headline is clear. You may not know the exact story, but you have a pretty good concept. That said…
 
They don’t give everything away. Sure, you may know that I’m about to tell a story about getting attacked by a shark, but not much more. If my opening line was “I once got rammed by a shark and it didn’t bite me but it thought about it and then decided I wasn’t so tasty” (which is actually what happened), then there would be little reason for you to listen to my hilarious and poignant story, because you would already know everything that happened.
 
The story fulfills the promise. No, you don’t want to give your story away with your headline, nor do you want to have it being completely unrelated. The story must fulfill the promise given by a headline. So if I said “My mom almost married me off to be the fourth wife of some dude from Ghana” and then started telling you about bridesmaid-dress shopping with my cousin, you’re going to feel pretty cheated, aren’t you? So, craft a witty headline, but make sure you don’t stretch so far for the wit that you go totally off topic. Your readers will feel cheated.
 
If you’ve been paying attention, you noticed I have broken one of my own rules. It may seem like I’ve not delivered on the promise of the headline. So far there has been no mention of a cat. This is because – on a level – I actually have delivered on the headline. The flow and structure of the post take you through the dissection of the headline, thus giving it a purpose.
 
If you still feel cheated, here’s the full story.
 
Erin, social media director and curator of this blog, and I have a daily competition to see who can find the most hysterical, odd and outlandish headlines. Today she came out of the gate strong with this gem (from NPR’s Marketplace Tech Report email, which usually has the best headlines):
 

(click for link)
 
And I declared her the winner. Until, apropos of nothing, I blurted out this: “My cat’s favorite time to try to cuddle is while I’m using the bathroom. Does that happen with your cat?”
 
She burst out laughing and said that had to be a headline for something. Can we just say that this is how great ideas are born? That random brain pop brought you this lovely blog post!
 
As for the story in question, this is how I get ready in the morning. With a Maine Coon kitten, Roux, jumping up and down, trying to get my attention and playing with my eyeliner, and yes, cuddling at the most inappropriate of times.
 
For reasons known only to him, this is the only time during the day he will admit to my existence.
 
So there you are, I hope I have now fulfilled my contract, with you, the reader.
 
(Just look at him. The fuzzy face of evil and crippling to my morning productivity.)